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Joke of the Day

"A woman met a guy at a bar... ...and asked him what he did for a living. ""I'm a jockey,"" he said. ""But I thought jockeys had to be small,"" she said. ""You're average-sized."" ""This is my day off."""

Next Joke
 
"Wife: Did you do the dishes like I asked? Me: Sorry I was busy W: Doing what? *cat rides by on Roomba wearing gladiator outfit* Me: Uh.."
"What do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? A fruit roll up"
"*Evanescence* (Buy two hams!) Buy two hams right now! (I need two hams!) I need two sopping hams (SAAAAVE ME)"
"Two Vietnamese people got married It was a Nguyen Nguyen"
"What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? Pilot"
"I once bought an e. e. cummings poem collection.. It was the worst game of Mad Libs ever."
"What do you call a smart knife? Cleaver! EDIT: Also Sharp, knew about this one but I like Cleaver better."
"Mr Monster: Oi hurry up with my supper. Mrs Monster: Oh do be quiet I've only got three pairs of hands."
"I am looking for two Chinese people to help me improve legislation for animals in Asia. That way, two wongs can make a right."