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Joke of the Day

"*Evanescence* (Buy two hams!) Buy two hams right now! (I need two hams!) I need two sopping hams (SAAAAVE ME)"

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"If I were a shepherd, I would never take inventory of my flock for fear of falling asleep on the job."
"Why are black people unable to get a PhD Because they can't get past their masters."
"What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus? He waits for it at the next stop."
"Why are toilet tasks called ONE and TWO? Because TWO rhymes with POO"
"When I was a kid, I wanted my bed near the window to see the moon and stars. Now, I want my bed near the mobile charging plug."
"Why are high end clocks designed and made in Switzerland? As they don't get arrested for doing their job as they do in America!"
"I'm a human alarm clock so when I wake up this early for no reason, I punch myself in the face to turn myself off."
"What's the difference between a bull and a cow? A bull smiles when you milk it."
"My legal team is advising me to get jiggy with it."