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Joke of the Day
"Why do girls always walk in odd packs? Because they literally can't even."
Next Joke
"Him: I like powerful women. Me: Gotcha. *dresses up as a rhino*"
"Sleeping thoughts Sometimes when I go to sleep I like to look at the stars and just think... what the hell happened to my roof!?"
"A guy is at the doctors... The doctor tells him ""we're gonna need a stool sample, urine sample and a semen sample."" The guy says ""Doc, I'm kinda in a hurry, can't you just take my underwear?"""
"The Bat family were playing a game of ""old maid"" with a poker deck... Needless to say it was a never ending game. Everyone wanted the joker."
"Mommy told me I should make some friends So I became a necromancer"
"Her: are you single? [flashback to 2011 where I tried to kiss a girl but she turned away and I kissed her cheek] Me: haha idk"
"I saw a black guy carrying a TV down the street the other day so I had to run back home and check that mine was still there. It's OK though, mine was still there, just sitting there shining my shoes."
"Teacher: Shall I put the school computer on? Pupil: No Miss the dress you're wearing looks fine."
"What did the hookers hang on the christmas tree? Whore-naments"