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Joke of the Day

"Why do girls always walk in odd packs? Because they literally can't even."

"I see your eight-year-old joke and raise you my nine-year-old joke. Why didn't the bullet have a job? It got fired."

"What do a sprinkler and an unemployment line have in common? Spic-spic-spic-CHINK-nigga-nigga-nigga-spic-spic-spic-CHINK-nigga-nigga-nigga (say out loud at your own risk)"

"How does Moses get his coffee? He buys it from Starbucks..."

"I'm holding a party for people who can never reach orgasm If you can't come let me know."

"Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again."

"ME: So I... was never invisible? JAIL DOCTOR: No. That's why you're in jail"

"How do you make a hot dog stand? Take away its chair."

"The Masochist begged the Sadist, ""Beat me, beat me!!"" The Sadist said, ""No"""

"*gets fired the first day on the job as an EMT for trying to cook a frozen burrito with the defibrillator*"