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Joke of the Day

"I see your eight-year-old joke and raise you my nine-year-old joke. Why didn't the bullet have a job? It got fired."

"Adrian Peterson got a new job... he was picked up by the Minnesota twins... He's gonna be their new ""switch hitter"""

"When I grow up and have kids... I think I will stay a virgin to set a good example."

"i did a lot of experimenting in my teen years. i knew that's what i'd have to do to become the caliber of scientist i am today"

"U.S found oil in foreign land soil and instantly reported serious shortage of democracy there"

"What cuts four farts in the morning, two farts at midday, and three farts in the evening? A sphinxter."

"What did the boots say to the cowboy? You ride -- I'll go on foot."

"I've successfully made a time machine Thank you kind stranger for giving me gold"

"My girlfriend said my dick reminded her of philosophy class Because it's so deep"

"You know what really gets my goat? El chupacabra"