121

Joke of the Day

"""What's that?"" A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in and I'm a little bit closer to freedom. *puts in dollar* ""WTH!?!"""

"I hate math.. I'll give you a number of reasons why!"

"Called a plumber out the other day. He was Chinese. Called a builder, he was also Chinese. Called an electrician out. He was Chinese as well ! Bloody Yellow Pages"

"How many Duggar does it take to screw in a light bulb? They screw children, not light bulbs."

"I'll always remember my dad's last words on his death bed: 'Son, what are you doing with that pillow?'"

"So I was walking down the street the other day, and saw this black guy... carrying a tv. At first I thought, ""Hey, that looks like mine!"" But then I remembered mine is at home shining my shoes."

"What do you call the removal of a fence? Defence"

"The best part of being lactose intolerant is the cure for constipation is cheese."

"Bought the knockoff brand of Frosted Flakes. Their mascot is Carl the Cat. ""They're purretty good!"""

"Sneaks into your house and removes all the labels from your canned goods. Shuffles them well."