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Joke of the Day

"Flogging Molly is a pretty good Irish punk band; They're also 2 activities typically kept very, very separate."

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"LEAVE ME ALONE GRANDMA I'M ENTERTAINING LITERALLY TENS OF PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET"
"Were you on Baywatch? Cause I've been watching you... bae.. More of a creepy line."
"What was the statistician's fetish? Let's just say he had the standard deviation."
"What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickelback"
"Sweetie, who is this bully stealing your pudding cup before school?!? ""Mom, it's-"" *dad makes throat slice gesture* ""No one, Mom. No one"""
"How can you lift an elephant with one hand? A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand."
"Thanks but I don't need help in your store or any other store. I've been in a ton of stores. I know how they work."
"To the girl who wore a white dress to the wedding I went to this weekend, good for you for not needing people to like you"
"Why did that guy shoot up the church in South Carolina? He thought it was the white thing to do."
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