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Joke of the Day

"Children change a lot of things like now if I get lost in a corn maze I just lay down and take a nap or run toward the guy with a chainsaw."

"Who's the biggest prostitute in history Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that bitch swallowed balls till she died."

"What do you call a man who can smell the future? Nostrildamus"

"I'm a shy little Pebble.... I wish to be a little Bolder"

"Legs spread faster than lies these days"

"I told a man I was voting third party He said, ""That's wasting your vote! Come on, gun to your head, who would you pick, Clinton or Trump"" ""Simple,"" I replied, ""I'd pick the bullet."""

"A friend got some vinegar in his ear now he suffers from pickled hearing."

"Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it's important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair"

"What do you call it when you kill someone with your bad breath from a long distance away? No scope"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?"