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Joke of the Day
"What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursELF"
Next Joke
"I like my women like I like my memes... Dank"
"How do you make a hamburger smile? Pickle it gently!"
"I'd imagine homeless people aren't the biggest fans of little dogs wearing sweaters."
"I will totally judge you based on your choice of breakfast cereal, you unfrosted weirdo."
"OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY BOSS: I don't know you. Do you work here? ME: *sips wine* No. HIM: So your wife does? ME: *sips his wine* Again no."
"I think I was meant to be an American, because every one I've met is funny, smart, kind, and thinks too highly of themselves"
"Black Friday is when Kim Kardashian shops for a new husband."
"My wife's name is Elle but I call her ""L"" for short, because I don't have all day."
"I'm on this new diet where I can eat anything but sugar, bread, meat, fruit, and food"