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Joke of the Day

"I asked my immigrant Asian parents if they knew what Roe v. Wade was. ""Umm... the decision we had to make when we came to this country?"""

"""GIMME AN E! ... GIMME ANOTHER E! ... GIMME ANOTHER E! ... GIMME ANOTHER E! ... GIMME ANOTHER E! ..."" - Cheerleader who loves ecstasy"

"If I were a shepherd, I would never take inventory of my flock for fear of falling asleep on the job."

"I poured root beer into a square glass... Now I just have beer."

"How many dead memes does it take to change a lightbulb? Twenty-one."

"I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don't like her new haircut."

"Did you hear about the man who went into the doctor for anal glaucoma? He couldn't see his ass going into work."

"Yo mama so fat she has more chins than a chinese phone book"

"What kind of music does a factory worker listen to? Industrial Metal"

"Nothing worse than, after sex, looking down and seeing that limp used Condom hanging off your dick... Particularly when you weren't wearing one when you started."