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Joke of the Day

"Some guy in a in a wheelchair stole my camo jacket He can hide but he can't run."

"To the man that stole my copy of Microsoft Office I will find you. You have my word!"

"The first time I got a universal remote control... I thought to myself, ""This changes everything."""

"I really hate people who never have bread for breakfast... You can say I'm lack toast intolerant I'll ^see ^^myself ^^^out"

"A businessman comes into work distraught, wearing a bloody suit.NSFW A coworker asks him, ""What happened to your tie?"" He responds, ""I had to kill that whore because she had a freaking dick."""

"Did you hear that a survivalist got roasted yesterday about his unemployment? Yeah, a Bear Grilled Bear Gryll's Bare Bills"

"At first Lincoln didn't want to be president... ... but he gave it a shot."

"Why should you always run next to a car? Because if you run behind it you get exhausted, and if you run in front of it you get tired!"

"What is a dark comedy? A black guy with small ^dick."

"Why did (do?) cavemen drag their women by the hair? if the dragged them by their feet they'd fill up with mud."