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Joke of the Day

"Mirror mirror on the wall, can I call you Jim or something cuz I'm not saying mirror mirror on the wall every time. That's just ridiculous"

"The first rule of tautology club ... is the first rule of tautology club"

"*runs into wife on the way to see his mistress* Aww are those flowers for me? -Uh...yeah Is there a card too? *with a mouthful of paper* No"

"A musician, a lumberjack, and a mathematician were in a room together... They made a log-rhythm."

"How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? ..To get to the other side!"

"What is the hamburgers' most familiar song? 'Home on the Range'!"

"Why does everybody like the mushroom? Because he's a fun guy."

"Where do you find a liberal at a convention? In the far left corner!"

"I found a cure for my debilitating cancer. I dumped her and started to see a capricorn instead."

"Y'know, Hitler wasn't all that bad... He did kill Hitler after all."