70640

Joke of the Day

"I told my kids 10 good dad jokes to see if any of them would make them laugh. But no pun intended."

"Me: *quickly flips through each layer of a Big Mac like a wad of cash* McDonald's employee: [nervously assuring me] it's all there I swear."

"Where does a fish keep his life savings? In a riverbank :D"

"I love walking around the house naked. Damn neighbors keep complaining. They think I should do it in the house."

"ESPN First Take - Patriots' Players Question Rex Ryan's Defense"

"[creation] GOD: Let's name some of you bugs FLY: Me first! GOD: Okay...Fly FLY: Hell yeah! BUTTERFLY: Now me! GOD: Hmm...Butterfly FLY: Sonuvab-"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers aren't capable of having any sort of feelings, and you are weird for thinking they do."

"Up votes are a bit like my sex life. It doesn't happen."

"what does r/jokes and the big bang theory have in common it's not funny 90% of the time"

"What do you call a robot doing the Gangnam Style dance? A Psy-borg."