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Joke of the Day

"I want to start a charity where terminally ill people can request to sleep with hollywood celebrities... I'll call it ""Make A Wishbone"""

"[Jesus plays hide-n-seek] Jesus: [exiting cave] Ah, ya found me! Let's play again. Harder this time. Find me now. [He ascends to Heaven]"

"My girlfriend wanted to use a protractor during sex... but I told her graphing paper is where I draw the line."

"I saw a billboard on the way to work this morning that read ""Future Events."" Well, that's a sign of things to come."

"Jokes for and from ESL Teachers"

"I went to donate a kidney once.. I went in to donate a kidney once but when I arrived at the hospital they asked me where I'd got it from -Jimmy Carr"

"GW... You can say what you want about the Boron but at least he Phosphorus. Also, in jokes the comics _did_ Barium. edit: Hope you get it, Bromine."

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and ten million dollars."

"Don't you hate people that answer their own questions? I do."

"I once borrowed a pro-life campaigner's laptop. The desktop was filled with accidentally-created New Folder icons."