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Joke of the Day

"Liverpool I've been to Liverpool and never walking alone is actually pretty good advice."

"No matter how far you push the envelope it will still be stationery (I know how to spell stationary)"

"I let a Jehova's Witness inside the other day and asked him, ""what now?""... He replied, ""I'm not sure, I've never gotten this far before"""

"Confucius say... He who farts at church, sits in his own pew."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not three. It's still dark in my basement."

"Today is World Alzheimer's Day! Just in case you forgot."

"What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas? It was wound up already."

"What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s? Your spine Edit: Thanks guys, made it to the front page. Was my first joke and ~~penis~~ spine joke on Reddit."

"Each one of us has a secret. My secret is that I can't keep a secret. Also Jill is a lesbian."

"I like the way you weigh the way I like you."