205119

Joke of the Day

"I like the way you weigh the way I like you."

"What is currently the greatest crime in China? Identity theft."

"A guy walks into a zoo that only had one animal in it. It was a Shih Tzu."

"What does a wife and a tornado have in common? They start with a blowjob then they take your house."

"they played Twist,so I twisted. they played Jump, so I jumped. they played Come on Eileen ... and I was banned for life"

"I wrote a book called My permanently exposed penis'. It's out now."

"What's annoying about going 90 in a school zone? The screaming speed bumps"

"What do you call an incredibly well-dressed punk? The Speaker of the House"

"What kind of baseball do burgers play? Ketchup baseball!"

"GROCER: slide your card ME: it didn't work GROCER: does it have a chip? ME: *puts hand over pringle in my pocket I was saving for later* no"