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Joke of the Day
"Want to hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it."
Next Joke
"The best part of being a supervillain is the freedom to laugh maniacally at all times"
"You know you're married when you find her sexier with clothes on."
"*Rains pennies from heaven* *coins decimate the land [terrified scream] 'CHANGE IS IN THE AIR!'"
"The embarrassment when you wake up to find your panties hanging from a chandelier and think, how did I end up in a place with a chandelier?"
"What's a pirates favorite letter? You may think R, but a pirates first love will always be the C."
"Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? A: I'm bigger than you!"
"I hope all the friends I've made in the bathroom at 1am are still SO pretty and everything worked out with that boy they were drunk texting"
"""Hey! I don't remember all those CGI space-dudes at the reception!""--George Lucas's wife re-watching their old wedding vids."
"Just because a guy wants to see you naked it doesn't mean anything, I know a guy who drove 2 days to see a donkey show."