70104

Joke of the Day

"""Why'd you name me Carson, dad?"" You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by a chicken"

"If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, ... I'd start thinking about you."

"How do bored cows sound like? Meh"

"Why does George Zimmerman keep popping up every 6 months or so? Is he the McRib?"

"[Batman's parents return after 40 years] Surprise!! Wait, wtf are you wearing?"

"""Love me or hate me, both are in my favor...If u love me, I'll always be in your heart...If u hate me, I'll always be in your mind"" -Shakespeare"

"if u switch the m&e at the end of memes it spells meems which has the same pronunciation"

"I was a professional boxer. Then I picked up Muay Thai just for kicks."

"I keep waiting for my Cadbury Creme Eggs to hatch into Cadbury Creme Chickens, but no luck so far. And sitting on them certainly didn't help"