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Joke of the Day

"If someone who speaks 2 languages is Bilingual, whats someone who speaks 1 called? American. EDIT: My first post on Reddit and I get 1000+ up votes, thanks so much!!!"

"I could be wrong, but an escape goat strikes me as an awfully inefficient getaway plan."

"THERAPIST: What's the problem with your marriage? WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise"

"Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?"

"How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving"

"Every Red Hot Chili Peppers song has a part where it sounds like they're trying to guess words for a crossword puzzle."

"A psychic midget just escaped from prison The news report said there was a small medium at large."

"*nervously adjusts fedora in Starbucks lineup I'll have uh, um, a mediu- I mean vanti, uh, mochacachito? Patrons: HE'S A FRAUD! GET HIM!!!"

"Looks like someone is stealing our jokes from r/jokes I was sent this by my roomate, http://www.tickld.com/x/the-25-best-two-line-jokes-ever-14-is-priceless What shall we do reddit?"

"Did you hear about the monster who had twelve arms and no legs? He was all fingers and thumbs."