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Joke of the Day

"Be to, or be not to, the question, that is. - Yoda does Hamlet"

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"The scariest part of the show ""I didn't know I was pregnant"" is that there are enough of these women to sustain an entire series."
"Why couldn't the melon couple run off and get married? Because they can't elope."
"My ex-wife says she misses me... But her aim is getting better."
"New Internet acronym: RALSHMICOMN Rolling Around Laughing So Hard Milk Is Coming Out My Nose"
"A man is running after a woman, just until she catches him."
"My annual performance review says I lack ""passion & intensity"", guess management hasn't seen me alone with a Big Mac."
"Dude, you're so black that when you wash yourself with soap... ... You have to wash the soap itself with washing powder afterwards."
"If Facebook is conflicting with your real life relationships then it's time to take a break. We need your full commitment over here."
"So do people not like it when you tell them they could totally do better after meeting their spouse? Flattery is hard."