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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cut yourself while having sex with a member of Queen? Band Aids"

"Sometimes Jesus asks himself, ""What would some self-righteous hypocrite do?"""

"Where'd the dog who lost his tail go to get a new one? A retail store."

"Smart Friend My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

"*sees a truck* Nice. *sees a trucker* Oh, impressive. *sees a truckest* Ah yes. This is what I came for."

"Teacher: you can be anything you want Me: Beyonce Her: well, not that (we stare at each other blankly for 17 min...) Me: Hi I'm Beyonce"

"The Largest Organ **Q:** What's the largest organ in the human body? **A:** That depends. If you've just swallowed a Steinway and a Wurlitzer, it's probably the Steinway."

"If a lady ever jumped out of my cake goddamnit she better be holding more cake"

"What did one boob say to the other? You're my breast friend. Budum tits."

"So he left. We don't serve your kind here, says the bartender. A tachyon walks into a bar."