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Joke of the Day

"I've got the eye of a tiger and a lifetime ban from the zoo"

"Most black 15-year-olds are decent law-abiding citizens. It's their kids that cause all the trouble."

"*through a mouthful of Nutella* Oh, yeah, healfy eafing is sufer imfortant to me."

"Did you guys hear about that weird snapchat knockoff that only lets you send pictures of sausages? It has the wurst ratings."

"MURDERER: *while murdering me* I feel like you're not taking this seriously. ME: *eating a Belgian waffle* Wut?"

"My friends think I have a drinking problem... So I told them ""no, I actually think I drink quite well"""

"I accidentally washed a black sock in with my whites and everything came out fine, so I totally get that whole ""I Have a Dream"" thing now."

"Justin Bieber.... I have recently changed the sound of my alarm clock to ""Justin Bieber - Baby"". Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day, so I don't have to listen to it."

"DON'T QUESTION YOUR DOCTOR A man went to see his doctor. ""You need to stop masturbating,"" the doctor told him. The man asked, ""Why?"" The doctor replied, ""Because I'm trying to examine you!"""

"What do you call cheese that's not yours ? Nacho cheese"