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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between E.T and illegal immigrants? E.T actually learned English and wanted to go home."

"I had an embarrassing sexual problem with my wife last week - I came too early And found her in bed with someone else"

"What do you call a football team full of retards? Special teams."

"A good pun... A good pun is its own reword."

"Star Wars is just like regular wars except you fall in love with your sister and your dad chops your arm off."

"why did russia execute its jeopardy winner? he knew too much"

"While escaping from the police, what did one bug say to the other? You butterfly!"

"Question to a crying child Q: Why did the drunken father go to jail? A: Beats me"

"Her: *puts cherry stem in mouth *pulls it out with a knot *winks Him: *puts earbuds in pocket *pulls it out with 5 knots *doesn't get laid"

"If I can't stand on a counter top display at Home Depot and shit in the sink then we are truly living in a fascist society."