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Joke of the Day

"SCIENTIST: Behold The self-esteem powered car! Come take it for a drive ME: uh okay *gets in* [CAR JUST LITERALLY FALLS APART]"

"Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? *sobbing* - You said you'd never forget."

"The person you're eating with can't wait for you to go to the bathroom so they can check their phone."

"What rhymes with left and means steal? theft"

"Monster-making as a Hobby by Frank N. Stine"

"Two muffins are sitting in the oven. When one muffin leans over to the other and says, ""boy it sure it's hot in here."" To which the other muffin responds, ""holy shit a talking muffin!"""

"I like how people say pets love you unconditionally like if you didn't feed them and someone else did they wouldn't go to them immediately."

"If Donald Trump was a fruit what would he be? A walnut."

"I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised."

"Wanna Hear a Joke My Ex-wife still misses me... BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER... Ge-Get because marriage is such a terrible thing. -Grucle Stan"