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Joke of the Day
"I'm going to sell John Lennon memorabilia online. Imagine all the PayPal."
Next Joke
"Sometimes you feel like you've grown. Other times you pout for a few hours because your wife accidentally threw away your Tabasco sauce."
"If we're all God's Children... What's so special about Jesus ?"
"You brought me roses? I can't eat this. Get out."
"Did you know lesbians almost never cook for themselves? They prefer eating out."
"Any jokes about failed startups?"
"I hate when I'm set on running a yellow light and the person in front of me chickens out."
"Sorry, but there's no such thing as love at first sight. You just got really horny."
"Over the past year my sexual perversions have been getting more perverse. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom."
"ME WATCHING OLYMPIC EVENT: ""Holy shit that was amazing!"" COMMENTATOR: ""Ooh, that was not good at all. He must really be upset with himself."""