69599

Joke of the Day

"People who only tweet inspirational stuff are the same people who reminded their school teacher about homework assignments."

"Have you ever had African food? Neither have they."

"Keeping busy in prison"

"I recently met someone who told me that he couldn't smell. I don't think he nose what he's missing out on."

"My doctor said I can't lift more than ten pounds... Can you help me pee?"

"You know what really grinds my gears? People who can't drive manual."

"Who would won in a wrestling match; Lemmy or God? Trick question, lemmy is god... R.I.P. Edit* win not won damnit..."

"I forgot to buy baking paper Looks like my cooking will be foiled again..."

"Why can't you trust stairs? Because they are always up to something."

"When the mechanic said I 'blew a seal', I was afraid he knew about that summer I worked at Sea World but it turns out it's some car thing."