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Joke of the Day

"An apple a day can keep ANYONE away if you throw it really hard at their face"

"I heard someone talking about all the potential health benefits of doing yoga, but I think it's a bit of a stretch."

"Bart Simpson's chalkboard was the original twitter."

"my criminal record is only clean because of how fast i can run with my pants around my ankles."

"Canada. Because I love being cold 95% of my life."

"What adjective do you use to describe a bad pun? Pungent"

"Judge: Guilty Me: Sayyoudidwhat. Judge: What did you say? Me: Judge? Did you just reverse my sentence? *Stage dives into cheering jury*"

"Why did the investor invest in exercise equipment? Because it was worth the weight!"

"Why are the best psychoanalysists Asian? Because they grew up listening to Pink Freud."

"I met a girl with 12 nipples today ""Woo, sounds fun."" Dozen tit!"