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Joke of the Day

"Why do procrastinators live the longest? Because they die at the last second."

"Why was Jimmy so excited to go to Clown College? He got a fool scholarship."

"Democracy in North Korea is like the dislike button on facebook. Everybody wants it but they shall never get it."

"Got a booty text from my ex-husband so I did the logical thing and forwarded it to his new girlfriend."

"There Are A Couple of Types of People in this World Those who play half life, and those who know what the number ""3"" is. I still don't understand what 3 is..."

"People that are into beastieality. Are fucking animals."

"A terrible plane crash occurred in Lithuania last week. A two-seater airplanecrash landed in a cemetery and exploded. They've recovered 300 bodies so far,and they're still digging them up."

"Being inside a car with kids is like being inside a blender with sticky hyenas."

"What's the difference between your mom and a bowling ball? Your mom can't fit in a bowling ball."

"Why would a monster be big, green and scaly?. Cuz if he were small, white and smooth hed be a Tic Tac."