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Joke of the Day
"Why do procrastinators live the longest? Because they die at the last second."
Next Joke
"Who decided smiling would be the default expression for pictures?"
"Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn't have."
"We should head on over to that schizophrenic party. It sounds like a lot of people are there."
"Did you hear about the cannibal who visited the ICU ward? His doctor told him to eat more vegetables."
"How many Dornishmen does it take to shoe a horse? Nine. One to do the shoeing, and eight to lift up the horse!"
"[slips the bus driver 20] ""Maybe you let me ride the bus for free?"""
"What words men never want to hear during sex? Hi honey, I'm home."
"I like my women like my coffee... Imported, ground up, and in my freezer!!"
"Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a note on my windscreen which said, 'Parking Fine.' That was nice..."