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Joke of the Day

"""What's your job?"" Programming. ""What's your hobby?"" Programming. ""What do you do when you're not programming?"" Think about programming."

"You spoiled brats with your fancy Cheerios flavors. When I was a kid Cheerios had one flavor, and that flavor was paper."

"REALLY GOOD JOKE!!!! DON'T CLICK! NSFW Lemkie"

"""Give me a moment"" ""Give me a moment,"" says the physicist as he sits in his desk chair. He wonders why nobody has spun him around yet."

"My wife was preparing to bake bread... I asked what that was she was putting into the mix. She said, ""dill weed"". I said, ""Darling, you know I love your recipes, but I refuse to eat dill dough!""."

"What do black people with Down's Syndrome call their friends? Their Chromies"

"Friend: OMG did u see the thing on the news about the sinister clowns? Me: *flashback to me watching the debate* yeah I think I saw that"

"I'm at my parenting best when I randomly yell out ""be careful!"" every few minutes without looking up from my phone."

"So, Joan Rivers just died, and... ... she's scheduled for more plastic surgery next week."

"Thanks for wiping down my table... a damp surface that smells like a dirty sweat sock is so much better than a few crumbs."