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Joke of the Day

"My MILFshakes bring all the police and devastated families to the yard."

"As I was leaving the club last night . . . . . . A male stripper suggestively swiveled his banana hammock in my direction. I'm flattered, but it was still kind of a dick move."

"On the holidays I got quite drunk and being responsible decided to take a taxi home It's still in my backyard what do you guys think I should do with it?"

"Chuck Norris is in a class of his own. That doesn't implement Comparable. #hacking"

"I'd tell you a joke about fellatio, but it sucks."

"Woozy woman comes up ""OMG I'm-I'm gonna faint!"" ""Go ahead, knock yourself out"""

"My life was depressing and miserable but I turned that around, Now it's miserable and depressing."

"People who try to test my patience don't realize it's an exam I don't plan on passing."

"Why do they call c-section the caesarian? Because when brutus stabbed caeser A baby fell out. Original shit *drops the mic"

"Why is China so politically in bed with Africa? Because China is the biggest coal burner in the world"