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Joke of the Day

"What's the most sought after ball in Biopsy Bingo? B9"

"What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle? The vacuum cleaner has the dirtbag on the inside."

"What do you call someone who specializes in trains? A trained professional"

"Coworker: Guess what day it is? Me: Don't. CW: Guess what day it is? Me: Don't. CW: It's hum.. [30 min later] Cop: So you stapled his lips?"

"Son! You have been adopted -Really! -Yes. Now gather your shit and get out. Your new parents are here to pick you up."

"By now, I've stopped calling it ""sandwich"" meat and started calling it ""stand in front of the fridge and eat it out of the baggie"" meat."

"Kwanzaa and Festivus were both made up in 1966. One is a joke holiday that no one should take seriously. The other was featured on Seinfeld. hat tip to u/AudibleNod"

"My parents haven't called with a computer problem in 48 hours. I'm sending my brother over there to check on them."

"Turkey Is going to get served very soon"

"Why do black guys only have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream"