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Joke of the Day

"My parents haven't called with a computer problem in 48 hours. I'm sending my brother over there to check on them."

"A poltergeist was moving furniture around the house, and I really love what he's done with the place."

"What comes out at night and goes Munch munch ouch! A vampire with a rotten tooth."

"When God eats mushrooms He has delusions of regular."

"Two men and one woman are in a plane crash, and they end up on a desert island. The men have sex with the woman for about a week, and one day they stop. Why? Her body was starting to smell."

"Want to hear the shortest joke in the world? Midget shortage."

"I'm glad the Founding Fathers aren't alive today because the last thing we need are more old people driving around on the roads."

"BOSS: I'm sorry mike, but you've been downsized ME: (75% of my original size, in a voice 125% higher pitched) ahh maaan"

"I really wanted my kid to be a kid so I gave birth directly into the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese's."

"Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and he will eat for a week."