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Joke of the Day
"Self Respect is... Washing your hands before you take a piss. ...or rather, leave one."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the guy that spilled curry powder in his bed? Woke up in a Korma"
"What do you call a jellyfish on a plane? A flightoplankton."
"What do you call a fat guy, from New Orleans, that never tells the truth? A jambo-laya. Thanks for coming out, I'll be here till Thursday."
"What's the most annoying thing on /r/jokes? People who post the joke intro twice."
"My daughter doesn't know I put the last pudding cup in her lunch earlier this evening, so she won't know I took it out and am eating it now."
"i mean, at some point the Absolute Funniest Thing Ever happened and i'd bet you $75 it involved a huge fart."
"DOCTOR: At a guess, how much alcohol do you drink in a day? ME: Hardly any D: That's excellent ME [swigs vodka] But I'm a terrible guesser"
"My favorite sport is jumping into conclusions"
"My computer keeps giving me an error message saying ""The Printer Can't Be Found."" Uh buddy it's RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, HELLO"