69221

Joke of the Day

"Son: ""Mom, Dad we need to talk.... I'm a vegan"" **Mom cries running out the room Dad: Why can't you just have a normal eating disorder?"

"Jesus saved my life... And before I could thank him he got in the car with Miguel and drove away."

"A man walks into a fancy dress party carrying a woman on his back... The host asks the man why this is so. ""Oh, I'm a tortoise and this is Michelle"" says the man."

"There are five frogs staring at me right now but only one can be America's top model."

"Professor i'd like an extension on my paper. why? well my ex just got married & i have to comment ""lame"" on all her wedding pics on facebook"

"How to properly use a paper clip: 1. Throw in garbage 2. Use a stapler"

"I turn the radio down when I drive by cops so there's no evidence of fun."

"How do you circumcise a redneck? You kick his sister in the jaw."

"I recently took up meditation..... It beats sitting around doing nothing"

"Women who get kidnapped while jogging: you're not jogging fast enough"