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Joke of the Day

"I BELIEVE A WOMAN'S PLACE IS IN THE KITCHEN 20% of the time."

"My son said, ""Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and think, 'My life has been a complete failure.'?"" I said, ""Not unless you're standing behind me."""

"Latey, my aphabet has been a the pace, I bame the fact there's ""noel"""

"A lot of people seem to fuss about adding and removing an hour from the day. I think it's just a minute difference."

"CNN: ""Chess grandmaster, 20, dies in parkour balcony fall"" Shoulda castled earlier."

"Why can't you fool an abortion? It wasn't born yesterday."

"When I die, PLEASE don't bury me in a fancy suit. That happened to a guy I knew and it turned him into a skeleton."

"A pirate, a chicken and a train enter a bar. ""what can I get you?"" ARR BKAWK CHOO CHOO"

"There were hookers talking... Asked the one hooker the other: What do you ask from Santa Claus this year? Oh, just 50 dollars, like always."

"I witnessed a murder in the park last night and called 911 They told me to stop calling and leave the crows alone."