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Joke of the Day

"I witnessed a murder in the park last night and called 911 They told me to stop calling and leave the crows alone."

"Mean Mom My mom was very mean. She would always complain to me ""why can't you be like your cousin Jeffrey, WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE YOUR COUSIN JEFFREY!"" ...My cousin Jeffrey died at birth."

"A priest and a rabi are walking down the street... And they see a little boy. The priest says,""Hey, we should go screw that little boy."" And the rabi says,""Oh yeah? Out of what."""

"1st old man says ""I wish I could pee with no problems"", 2nd old man says ""I wish I could poop easily"", 3rd old man says ""I easily do both by 10am...."" "".... problem is, I don't wake up til noon"""

"What did the figurine say when the boot flew past her protective dome? ""That was a cloche call!"""

"My favorite sex position is the JFK I splatter all over her while she tries to get out of the car."

"Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll."

"How do you make a Hindu self destruct? Press the red button"

"Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds."

"War: what is it good for? Resource acquisition, eliminating your enemies, blowing stuff up, feeling like a big man. So, lots actually."