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Joke of the Day

"I still occasionally fap over my ex Made a copy of the key to her place when we were together, and she's a heavy sleeper"

"Girl you got the brains of a seal. Wanna get smashed at the club?"

"""What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?"" I was asked on an internet forum. ""Because you're not allowed to take them on planes,"" I answered."

"WHAT ARE THOSE?! Thanks, how did you know?"

"Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick!"

"If Hilary and Trump were to be stranded on an island, who would survive? America."

"The Fifa president, secretary general and communications director are all travelling in a car. Who's driving? The police. Not mine: http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/33099881"

"Why are Pokemon terrible to play hide and seek with? Because they pikachu"

"You know why fencers subscribe to /r/Jokes? Because they always appreciate a riposte."

"A man walks into a zoo... But there is only a dog. It's a shih tzu."