68435

Joke of the Day

"R.E.M.'s ""Everybody Hurts"" should automatically play every time anyone takes the first bite into a microwaveable burrito."

"What, I'm Asian? *slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*"

"What do the morbidly obese and podophiliacs have in common? [NSFW] They can only get off with their feet."

"What's the hardest part of washing a vegetable? putting them back in the wheelchair"

"What do you call someone that goes down on both genders? Bilingual."

"What do you call a tin boat? A hydrofoil."

"What's the most annoying joke in the world?"

"Did you hear about the two gay Irishmen? Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fits Michael"

"It's sad to see how people seem to put more effort into their wedding than they do into their marriage."

"Some people's decisions are based in fear, others are based in beer."