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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a gym and asks the personal trainer which machine will make him most attractive to women.. The instructor points to the back of the gym "" The ATM machine"""

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"[at the hunting store] Me: where's the camo gear? Clerk [winks]: exactly"
"a hot girl asked me what came first, the chicken or the egg? I answered truthfully "" it's usually me""."
"Skinny friend: Bananas are super high in sugar. Why would you eat them if you want to lose weight? Me: Good point. *Grabs Kit Kat"
"Whats the last thing you give a tickle me elmo before it leaves the factory? Two test-tickles."
"[After losing a rap battle] ""How did he get a hold of my credit score?"""
"Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died? He just needed a little bit of Clojure."
"how do you confuse a masterbator? 32"
"What's red and smells like green paint? Red paint"
"Person: I like your name. Me: thanks, I got it for my birthday"