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Joke of the Day

"[2025] Dad, Mum, this is my girlfriend. You might recognise her, she used to be quite famous *the laugh-cry emoji steps forward shyly*"

"Steve Irwin would have survived if he was wearing sun screen It protects against harmful rays"

"My friend David's ID was stolen the other day Now we just call him Dav"

"Don't tell me I look tired unless you're offering to carry me"

"[Wheel] _'D L_K_ TO SOL__ TH_ P_ZZL_ I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat Go ahead I'd like to solve the puzzle Yes, go ahead No, I'd like to.."

"Why did the Pepsi executive get fired? He tested positive for Coke."

"At first I hated my new haircut... but it's growing on me."

"This dumbass next to me on the highway is texting and driving."

"LISTEN,,, Every pizza can be a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself."

"ME: I hate the Kentucky Derby. You get all dressed up and excited and the whole thing only lasts 15 seconds WIFE: Oh is that right"