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Joke of the Day

"[2025] Dad, Mum, this is my girlfriend. You might recognise her, she used to be quite famous *the laugh-cry emoji steps forward shyly*"

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"Guy comes home and says to his wife, ""Pack your bags! I just won the lottery!"" She jumps for joy and asks, ""Where are we going?!?"" He says, ""I'm not going anywhere. You're outta here!"""
"If life gives you melons you might be dyslexic."
"Like on Amazon or in our house? [My response when my wife asks me if I can find something for her]"
"TIL there's a subreddit dedicated to all the times an OP doesn't deliver Link in the comments"
"One of the good things about trump winning... We get to see Amy schumer leave."
"I'm just a girl, standing in my kitchen, forgetting what I came in here for."
"[in hell] Me: *sneeze* The devil: bless you Me, waving as I float to heaven: haha, fool the devil: DAMN YOU Me, floating back to hell: dang"
"Why is the part of a woman between her hips and her breasts called a waist? Because they could've easily fit another pair of tits in there."
"I'm so horny the crack of dawn better be careful around me"