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Joke of the Day

"Where do I see myself in ten years? I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*"

"Massive victory for business ethics advocates! After years of negotiation and hard work, an industry-wide agreement has finally banned opticians from using contracts containing small print."

"It would be terrible to be blind and get cancer. You would never see it coming."

"You're so vein, you probably think this bloody cut is about you."

"Marriage has taught me that communication is key. I talk to my therapist & she talks to hers. Its not perfect, but its progress."

"HOW DO I CONVINCE EVERYONE THAT I'M NOT UPSET SOMEONE STOLE MY CAPS LOCK KEY?"

"Come over to the Nerd side... We have Pi."

"A Priest and a Rabbi walk in a bar... and they say to each other ""what is this, a joke?"""

"The jungle book has been adapted into a live action play But after the show at the Cincinnati zoo all other showings have been cancelled."

"A priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar... and the bartender says ""What is this? A joke?"""