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Joke of the Day

"The most popular guy in a fraternity will end up working at a mobile phone kiosk in a mall."

"I live 30 feet from my mother-in-law, Hell holds no surprises."

"A guy broke into my apartment last week.. He didn't take the TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels.. Sick bastard.."

"What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion? Hot wheels (First joke, hope you like it.)"

"Girls can be so ungrateful. I make her breakfast in bed and instead of saying ""Thank you"" she is all like ""How did you get into my house?"""

"Man goes to a restaurant Sits down at a table by himself and places a calender in front of him. The waiter ask why the calendar? Man replies ""I didn't want to be alone so I brought some dates"""

"Did you hear there was a stick up on the bridge? Yeah, they don't know how it got up there considering there are no trees there."

"My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian... it's like I've never seen herbivore. edit: I think I summoned the pun cult."

"Millions of Thanksgiving turkeys recalled. It seems that someone forgot to butter their balls before they left the factory."

"How do you fit five elephants into a car ? Two in the front two in the back and the other in the glove compartment !"