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Joke of the Day

"Millions of Thanksgiving turkeys recalled. It seems that someone forgot to butter their balls before they left the factory."

"How to bargain with your wife Me: Can I get a motorcycle? Wife: No. Me: Can. I get a boat? Wife: NO! Me: Can I get a blowjob? Wife: (sighs) Is it a BIG boat?"

"What do you say when you walk in on an East Indian woman dressing? Sari!"

"If an opinion is worth 2 cents, how many cents is an argument worth? It really just depends on how much cents it makes."

"My iPhone could say that I have a voicemail from God and I still wouldn't listen to it."

"Jesus drove a Honda but didn't talk about it. ""For I did not speak of my own accord"" John 12:49"

"My teacher called me into her office today. She totally wants my D To go up to a C."

"A dwarf, that happens to be a mystic, escapes from prison. The call went out that there was a small medium at large."

"I like my science like I like my penises: hard."

"Have you seen the new recycling center around here? No? But you're already in /r/jokes"