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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who's been pickpocketing midget charity workers? How could someone stoop so low?"

"It's not rape if she's holding bud light"

"Why was the gay triceratops so frustrated? Because he couldn't find any tricerabottoms!"

"How do you pleasure a capitalist? An invisible handjob."

"Did you hear about the joke about the broken pencil? Well, there-- Nevermind, it's pointless."

"*plays Rocky theme song* *cracks 5 raw eggs into glass and gulps them down* *vomits on kitchen floor* *turns off music* *cleans kitchen*"

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you drink out of that little thing?"

"How does Justin Beiber remove a condom? He farts."

"Why are Jews so good at making action movies? Shlo-mo."

"I slappa da bass man... ... then he and the drummer beat the shit out of me :("