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Joke of the Day

"Every girl I bring home is unemployed, drunk and on drugs. I'm starting to think that whole ""opposites attract"" thing is bullshit."

"What does an iPhone 7 and The Titanic have in common? The end has no Jack."

"My father was a man of few words.He used to say, son..."

"I went to a zoo that only had a dog... It was a shih tzu."

"What's better Jesus or a picture of Jesus A picture because it only takes one nail to hang a picture."

"My wife just opened my car door for me. Would have been a nice gesture had we not been going 70mph."

"""So what kind of cancer can you tolerate the most?"" -Me on which President Candidate you're going to vote"

"How does the pedophile like his music? Just like his dick - in a minor."

"What's a redditor who makes pirate jokes' favorite letters? It could be R and the C, but they definitely aren't OC."

"Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards out of the boat? Because if they fell forward they would land in the boat!"