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Joke of the Day

"Can't believe people still say ""pot"" it's not the 70s anymore we call it ""saucepan"" now"

"Wife holding bank statement: What's this payment? Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly? M: No, it's just for the one skydive"

"If you are American when you go into the bathroom... ... and you are American when you come out of the bathroom. What are you while you are in the bathroom? European!"

"Jay-Z's voice is so beautiful. I wish he rapped about stuff I cared about."

"I've kept my tamagotchi alive for the past 15 years, so yeah Mom, I know what it's like to raise an ""ungrateful little prick"""

"Just a short joke you are probably pretty familiar with yep, it's your penis"

"My boss texted me, ""Send me one of your funny jokes."" I replied, ""I'm working at the moment, I will send you one later."" He replied, ""That was fantastic, send me another one."""

"Glassware has emotions. Proof: I sometimes reach to the back of the cabinet because I feel bad for the glasses that I never use."

"What if Adele was calling from inside the house?!"

"Debra is short for Debrassiere"