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Joke of the Day

"I wish I lived in the 20s so I could wear hats, smoke cigarettes and say stuff like, ""Hey big cheese, this giggle water is the cat's meow."""

Next Joke
 
"Time for a joke. ""Dad, how do you feel about abortions?"" ""Well, why don't you ask your sister?"" ""But I don't have a..."""
"Me: SPIDER! Brain: Nope, fluff. Me: SPIDER! Brain: That is a fly. Me: SPIDER!!! Brain: sigh. That's your hand idiot."
"I opened a company selling landmines that look like prayer mats Prophets are going through the roof"
"What do vegetarian zombies eat? GRAAAIIIINS"
"What does John F. Kennedy have in common with the current Democratic Party? No brains"
"I've run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon."
"Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ? Because everyone had to go on in pairs !"
"When you wish upon a star, planets are being scorched and destroyed billions of miles away but that's okay because YOU'RE IMPORTANT."
"""The world is full of nice people. If you can't find one, be one!"""