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Joke of the Day

"Maybe I'd bother with cologne if my natural scent didn't make even elderly women violently ovulate."

"And the award for best neckwear goes to... Well, would you look at that... It's a tie."

"If you're wondering what all these scratches on my chest are from, it's because my cat hates to get in the hot tub with me."

"What is DNA's favourite clothing? Jeans!"

"Why do black people have long legs? Because they're negros"

"If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened."

"How did the guitar player bust the G string? He was fingering A Minor."

"I saw these two blind guys about to fight and I shouted, ""My money's on the one with the knife."" You should have seen how fast they both ran off."

"Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy? Allahu snackbar!"

"officer, buying weed from a guy who sells on the side is basically shopping local. you should be THANKING me for supporting our community."