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Joke of the Day
"Why do hamburgers and hot dogs fuck their cousins? Because they're inbred!"
Next Joke
"brb, taking out the trash so I took out 9gag"
"What did Jennifer Lawrence say to Julius Caesar? ...""May the Ides be ever in your favor."""
"What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit."
"How do you get a stranger to hop onto a bandwagon? You poke 'em on."
"'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, there was a grim recognition of the fundamental uselessness of man's endeavors."
"Trump is already making good on his promise for jobs. Who else would hire Three Doors Down?"
"Maybe Michael J. Fox could get a new show where his character doesn't have Parkinson's but he's a conductor aboard a moving train."
"If I was smarter, I would know so much more stuff."
"I don't think these photographs you've taken do me justice. You don't want justice - you want mercy !"