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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a fridge and a vagina? A fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat."

"I farted in a room of hipsters and watched them fight over who heard it first."

"Rather than trying to ""change"" your passwords, accept them for their imperfections and they will grow stronger than you can possibly imagine"

"Statistically 60% of people use their mobile phone to cheat on their partners. Personally I prefer to use my pen!s."

"Have you seen Jesus's abs?!! He must be doing that Cross-Fit workout!"

"The thing I like best about smartphones is how they're a prison you keep in your pocket"

"Lincoln was known for his signature look; stovepipe hat, chinstrap beard, fingerless driving gloves, Jordans, shirt with Ferrari logo on it"

"What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas? Cancer."

"""Normal people"" are the most fucked up people you will ever meet."

"My wife claims that I treat one of our kids unfairly. ""Which one?"" I replied, ""Chris Jr, or the girl one?"""