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Joke of the Day

"Statistically 60% of people use their mobile phone to cheat on their partners. Personally I prefer to use my pen!s."

"What were Adam's first ever words to Eve? ""Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Adder ! Adder who ? Adder you get in here ?"

"I lose bobby pins in my hair. Please don't ask me to babysit your kids."

"I can only handle so much of a screaming kid on a long car ride before I pull over, take them off the roof, and let them back in."

"""Nothing there? Better bark at it."" - a dog"

"What's yellow and lives off dead beetles? Yoko Ono."

"If two vegans have an argument... is it still considered beef?"

"Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common? A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed."

"How do you know if the wool in your socks came from New Zealand? They've already got cum stains before you open the package."