166790

Joke of the Day

"Statistically 60% of people use their mobile phone to cheat on their partners. Personally I prefer to use my pen!s."

"[At the job interview] ""Why did you leave your last job?"" ""They took a vote."""

"e and i have an argument e says to i: get real i responds: be rational"

"""You're saying it's all an act? Chewbacca: Indubitably, my good man."

"""Help! I can't get my jogging trousers off!"" ""We'll have to perform an emergency trackybottomy"""

"My girlfriend cheated on me. She damn near broke my back."

"Why did the groom want his bride to wear white? He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge."

"What do mentally retarded parents give their kids? Hand me Downs."

"[marriage counseling] Ginny- He always hides from our problems. Therapist- Is this true? Harry- *puts on invisibility cloak* No."

"I made a company that disguises land mines as prayer mats... Prophets are through the roof"